Adult Fear: I have it, but I’m doing it anyway
I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately - not the kind that comes from horror movies or near death experiences, but a quieter, more persistent fear. The kind that creeps into your mind during still moments. The kind that tightens your jaw before you fall asleep. That sits deep in your gut when you’re about to try something new. The fear that makes you second-guess everything.
I call it adult fear. And adult fear is really fucking me off.
What is adult fear?
Adult fear is that hesitation at the edge of a decision, even when nothing’s actually wrong. It’s knowing you’re capable but being unable to move. It’s the fear that whispers what if just loud enough to stop you in your tracks. It pretends to be caution, but really, it’s self-doubt dressed in sensible shoes.
I’ve seen it show up in the strangest ways:
Standing on a sunny dock, knowing the water is safe, but still not being able to jump.
Holding out a carrot for a horse, then pulling back—what if it chokes?
Freezing in front of something I would have once done without hesitation.
Overthinking new friendships.
Dragging my feet on new ideas, projects, adventures.
Wanting to follow a rule not because I believe in it, but because I’m scared of getting told off.
Adult fear has this way of shrinking our lives, bit by bit. It makes things smaller, tighter, safer. It convinces us to stay in the shallow end. And when we let it, it quietly chips away at our self-belief.
So I’ve decided - we mustn’t let it.
Hanging out in the Amazon jungle
Where has it come from?
I used to be braver. Less filtered. Louder, freer, more willing to be visible. I miss that version of me. But somewhere along the way, I started worrying. About doing the “wrong” thing. About breaking unspoken rules. About standing out in ways that felt too vulnerable. I stopped trusting that things would be okay—because one day, they weren’t.
Something hard happened. Life knocked me off course, and in that moment, fear found a door in. Since then, it’s shown up as hesitation, overthinking, even anger. It’s made me freeze instead of leap. Choose stillness over risk. And I think, if I’m honest, it’s been holding me back from showing up fully. From being my own boss, trusting my voice, going all in on my dreams.
Because what if it doesn’t work? What if I regret it?
And yet, I keep coming back to this idea: Grow in love, or shrink in fear.
I have been allowing myself to shrink. I can see it. I can feel it. I’ve developed a fear of things going wrong - to the point where I overthink giving a carrot to a horse!
A turning point in the jungle
I was in the Amazon jungle recently (as part of my South America adventure). I didn’t do ayahuasca or anything like that—just being in the jungle was enough. The stillness was deafening. It turned all my attention inward, and I couldn’t distract myself anymore. I felt this deep stirring, like old pain was rising to the surface, begging to be released.
Something had shifted, I was ready to heal. Not in a Pinterest-quote, morning-affirmation kind of way. But for myself. I want to let go of the fear that has kept me so small, so hesitant, so unsure of myself.
This isn’t a before-and-after story. I’m still in it. Still learning. Still scared. But I’ve made a decision: I’m not going to let adult fear run my life.
Even when my stomach twists and my breath catches in my chest. Even when I’m hesitant to speak up or show up or step forward. I’m going to do it anyway.
Feeding a horse in Chile
Fear doesn’t mean I’m not brave
In fact, it means I am brave. Because I’m aware of the fear and still choosing to move forward.
This is the next step in my Elita La Vie journey. I’ve been doing some deep personal work around this over the past few weeks, and I’m already feeling the shift. There’s more lightness. More energy. More me coming back.
You don’t have to be fearless to live fully. You just have to keep choosing courage over comfort. Keep showing up. Keep growing. Keep choosing love - even when fear is louder.
I have adult fear. But I’m doing it anyway.
Can you relate?
The beauty of the Elita La Vie journey is that when new things come up you have all the tools to address them.
Feeling that nudge?