The Meaning of Life according to Charlene
For many years, I worked backstage in theatre as a dresser. If you’re not familiar with that role, it’s essentially part of the wardrobe team - a person who helps performers with their quick changes. Think fast hands and velcro mastery. The job is a whirlwind of backstage chaos, whispered cues, and the ability to make someone feel held together, literally and emotionally, before they run back on stage.
One of the reasons I’ve always kept a foot in the door is the people. It’s a rare, glittery bubble where personalities can be bold, weird, beautiful, and completely unfiltered. When I moved from theatre into the corporate world, I was disappointed to discover boobs and bumholes were not part of everyday conversation. A tragedy, really.
Theatre is special. It’s a place where you can be unapologetically yourself. You can have the most life changing conversation sandwiched between two musical numbers and a quick-change into a tap dancing squirrel costume. There’s nothing quite like it.
It was during one of these random but significant conversations that I found myself talking about relationships. This conversation happened during a really hard time for my relationship. The kind of hard where everything’s under a microscope and nothing feels clear.
The person I was speaking to - a lovely, heart-on-sleeve, romantic, asked me:
What do you think the meaning of life is?
I knew he wanted me to say love. He was going through his own heartbreak and needed reassurance. But the truth I had to offer wasn’t shiny or romantic. I wasn’t even sure if I believed in love anymore at that point. I was still on my own is this it? spiral.
I answered:
Contentment.
And as the words came out, they hit me like a truth I didn’t know I’d been waiting to hear.
That one word stuck with me far more than I expect it stuck with him.
I realised that the reason I’d been so unhappy wasn’t because my husband didn’t love me enough or that we’d run out of spark. It was because I was looking for something outside of myself to make me whole. I kept saying, ‘if this is it, then it’s not enough.’
I was craving fireworks when what I needed was a campfire. I needed to find peace in the quiet, in the normal, in the seemingly small. And that peace couldn’t come from him, or anyone else, it had to come from inside me.
And that’s where everything started to change.
(Insert several years of messy, beautiful, trial-and-error life rebuilding here. Cue the dramatic montage and the birth of the Elita La Vie Approach).
Today, when I say that I’m genuinely happy and that I love my life—it’s not because everything’s flashy or perfect. It’s because I feel calm. I feel content. I’m not chasing more anymore. I’m sitting in what is, and that, my friends, is my kind of magic.
When my dad passed, it only deepened this belief. Life is fleeting. And so much of the sparkle we’re taught to crave is, frankly, exhausting. My magic now lives in slow mornings, noticing joy, and belly laughs with friends.
But I don’t think contentment is the only ingredient in this quiet little recipe.
Big Others Up
Be the hype person in someone else’s life. I’m serious. Nothing feels better than genuinely rooting for someone. Jealousy is a sneaky little gremlin that only poisons you. When you lift someone up, whether it’s complimenting their courage, celebrating their wins, or just telling them they’re doing great, it lights something in you too.
Also, and I mean this in the kindest possible way: don’t be a dick. If you belittle someone’s dream, even just with a throwaway comment, you might be the reason they stop pursuing it. Don’t let that be your legacy. Instead, leave behind a trail of “you’ve got this!” and “I believe in you!” You’ll feel better, they’ll flourish, and the world will be a slightly less bitter place.
Know yourself
Taking the time to get to know yourself is one of the best things you can do. It’s not always pretty, sometimes it feels more like a solo trek through quicksand than a journey of self discovery, but it's worth it. On the other side of the existential spirals, you meet you. The real, raw, honest version. And that’s where your inner peace is waiting.
Trust your gut, even when it’s being inconvenient. Especially when it’s being inconvenient. That inner nudge that tells you something’s off? That’s not drama, that’s wisdom. Listen to it.
Because when you really know who you are, and more importantly, when you like who you are, you start showing up differently. You make choices from a place of peace, not panic. You stop bending to fit rooms that were never built for you. Life doesn’t become perfect, but it becomes lighter. More aligned. More you.
When you fall in love with yourself, you become better at loving others too. Because you're not asking them to complete you, you’re inviting them to share the ride.
So, if you're still with me, here's my final answer to the question that caught me off guard all those years ago:
The meaning of life is contentment, it’s lifting others up and it’s falling so in love with yourself that peace becomes a default, not a prize.
Do you agree?
Or are you still holding out for fireworks?
Either way, I hope you find your version of peace. And when you do, I hope you share it with someone who needs it.