I was always starting over until I tried habit tracking like this
Welcome to my ‘it’s so simple it’s should be mandatory’ guide to creating habits.
If you have a list of things as long as your arm which you wish you could give up and replace them with amazing sexy new habits (commonly called ‘good’ habits) then this is for you.
Before we get stuck into my method for habit formation, I need to credit Stoptober, which is a recognised campaign in the UK to support people quitting smoking. If it wasn’t for their free pack when I quit smoking, I’m not sure I would have gotten here (the habit holy grail) all by myself. Inside their pack amongst the great resources on quitting smoking, was a 28 day tracker with stickers. The most random stickers selection - a rainbow and a cloud comes to mind. Not what you immediately think of with smoking. I was determined to quit and nothing had worked for me up to that point, so I thought why not use the sticker chart! It actually worked. I couldn’t believe it, I successfully quit smoking.
I will say, there were other factors.
I really wanted to - you have to want to create the habit and it has to be for a good reason otherwise what’s you’ll be ok dropping it.
I was funding 2 other people's smoking habits and I couldn't really afford to do that - if I quit, they would too.
Vanity - this was the biggest motivator for me. I had heard that if I quit by age 25, by age 55 my body would be that of a non-smoker again. Whether this is true or not didn’t really matter, the fact was it was enough to get me motivated to quit - another valuable lesson - you need to be motivated to form your habit.
Thank you Stoptober for your beautiful stickers and fun chart!! 28 days later and I was cigarette free (aside the occasional drunk cigarette at the end of a fun wedding celebration).
My story only starts there. I was so focused on quitting smoking, I didn’t acknowledge the mechanism which had helped me quit and since then I have tried umpteen ways to form new habits. Mostly relying on willpower if I am honest. It sounds silly now, but that habit tracker was long forgotten.
My method for habit creation has been born out of so much failure. So many conversations with my willpower saying ‘this credit card purchase is my last credit card purchase’. Always the same conversation - this will be the last time I…
I’ve also tried reverse psychology - I will always do X - name any positive habit you want to create. But alas this did not magically work either.
Willing the change was not something that has ever worked for me either. Manifesting is awesome, but not effective for me when creating lasting habits. It can be helpful to visualise yourself doing/living said habit. What does your life look like if you actually create this habit. It can be very powerful to get you started. Personally I find it does little to keep me going and I am more likely to listen to my trigger monster (IYKYK) than what I actually want when the easy life is more convenient than sticking to what I actually want.
A little tangent - What is a trigger monster?
Your trigger monster lives inside you. Often referred to as negative nancy, your inner critic or the voice telling you to do things you don’t want to do - don’t go to the gym class you love - bed is better - that voice is your trigger monster. If you sign up the Elita La Vie Approach you’ll get to meet yours and learn to live in comfortable companionship.
Did I mention this is a free habit tracker?
How long does it take to form a habit?
60 days!
There are books on forming a habit in 21 days. Heck I even found one boasting 7 days. Now, I’ve not read these books - purely judging by the cover so there could be great habit forming secrets inside I am not aware of. What I do know, is that me on my tod, cannot form a habit in less than 60 days and not without my magical habit tracking.
Why 60 days?
If you are creating something new or giving something up, it needs to become habitual for it to become a habit. We can all do the same thing for a week, maybe even three without much effort. But past that point, I don’t believe so. I think effort creeps in, the sparkle has dimmed a bit. It is starting to feel part of your daily routine and this is where we can start forgetting about our new habit. If you make it to 30 days it is going to feel quite seamless and that’s exactly what we want for you, but tracking to 60 days shows us two key things for lasting change.
It is something you really want
It works for your lifestyle
Month to month our lives can look different. Is this habit something that you will continue to do on holiday? Or is this part of your morning routine? Are you going to be sacrificing something else and is that sustainable long term? I believe the only way to find out is to track your habit for 60 days. By day 30 you should be pretty set on the habit and its scope in your day, but keep going for 60 days to understand if it’s sustainable.
An example
You want to form a habit to have a daily gratitude practice. You make it to 30 days straight, always practising first thing in the morning. On day 35 you have to travel for work and this means getting up early, no time for your morning gratitude with a cuppa. BUT all is not lost. You have an hour to yourself before meeting colleagues for dinner so you give 10 minutes to your gratitude practice. On day 58 you are going on holiday. It could be very easy to forgo these 2 days because by now making time for gratitude is so habitual if you miss these days you’re convinced you’ll pick it straight back up. Unfortunately in my experience this is not likely to be true. You’ll skip those days and decide that you might as well pick this habit up again once you’re home - and invariably we don’t.
Which is why my method for habit tracking is so easy and rewarding because you will always get to 60 days and create habits which seamlessly fit into your day.
What else helps?
It took me a long time to understand that 60 days and no less is what I need to form a habit that sticks.
I also learnt I need to be rewarded. I need praise and I need a physical thing/action I take everyday to move me towards those 60 days.
I also need treats. Regular treats for passing key milestones within the 60 days.
Lastly, I need to check in and notice how I feel along the way - is this habit something I actually want. Is it worth the effort to create?
So to be successful I needed to make sure all of this was part of the process.
How does it work?
Step 1; Create your habit question
For this you are going to need to identify what habit you want to create and then be able to answer yes or no to determine if you have completed it each day.
Take quitting smoking. The habit question becomes ‘have I smoked today’?
Step 2; Pick a day to start
Start on a week when you can commit e.g. don’t give up alcohol the day before a planned boozy night out that you’ve been looking forward to.
Step 3; Pin the habit tracker
Print and pin up this tracker somewhere you will see it everyday - this is critical for success.
Step 4; Get some awesome stickers
Get yourself the most outrageous fun stickers you can find which make you smile and you want to use.
Here it is - my very simple habit tracker
Don’t you love how simplicity usually works best, but yet we always seem to overcomplicate things?
A beautifully designed wiggly path with 60 numbered paving stones for you to pass over.
Now you’ve seen it, if you hadn’t guessed, this habit tracker is a children’s reward chart for grown ups.
That’s right, the only way I found to create habits that actually stick was to reward myself like a child.
It works so well!!
When I created this, I didn’t connect my love of the Stoptober chart with this creation for years (doh), but it must have been rooted there in my memory just waiting for the right time - or maybe I am just that forgetful!!
I think my tracker is fairly self explanatory - do your thing, get a sticker. But what happens when you arrive at a pink square? Well, you do 2 things…reflect and treat yourself. These can be free treats, or treating yourself to something you have wanted for a while. The choice is yours, however, forming your habit works best if you acknowledge how well you have done and mark the occasion. It could be as simple as taking 5 minutes for yourself or as extravagant as booking that trip you’ve always wanted to go on. The choice is yours.
If at first you don’t succeed…
You START again. I’m sorry, but this tracker only works if you get a sticker for 60 days straight. Meaning, if you get to day 59 and have a cigarette you start back at day 1. You keep doing this until you have completed 60 days in a row.
How does it work if your habit is not a daily habit?
Great question, because not all habits are going to be things you practice daily. Let’s use a common example of going to the gym. Maybe you want to go to the gym 3 days a week. What happens on the other 4 days. To keep it simple you tick them off as well, but if you tick off 4 days in a row at the start of the week, you now have to attend the gym 3 days in a row. If you don't, those 4 non gym days are cancelled out and you start over from day 1 again.
I do find this tracker works best if you can do the habit everyday. Wherever possible create a habit you can take action each day.
Sticking with the gym 3 days a week. You can incorporate the gym as part of a movement habit. You habit is slogan is ‘I move my body daily’. For 3 days a week this is at the gym. You might go for a walk once a week and for the other 2 days it could be 2 minutes dancing to the radio. Having this type of habit means you are more likely to stick to your gym habit and you get some extra movement in. Once the 60 days have passed you can either keep up daily movement or shift to 3 days a week going to the gym as it’ll be habitual by then.
I also find this helpful when you get a shift in routine. If you have a daily movement habit, dancing around your hotel room for 5 minutes or booking onto the morning yoga class at the hotel is far more likely to be a thing you do rather than missing a week of the gym.
And for the best results EVER
Only do ONE habit at a time. Max two, but they must be in completely different areas of life. A habit you might be forming is not using your credit card. This can go with giving up drinking, but don’t give up drinking and decide to also quit coffee. Choose one and then move onto the other.
Stickers not included
I’m sorry you don’t yet get exciting ELV stickers, but I guess you should be thanking me because who doesn't want an excuse to go and choose the best stickers you can!
I would also love to one day have exciting stickers to include with the habit tracker. Maybe animal themed ones or silly pictures of me!
In a nutshell
Print the tracker and get stickers (minimum 60 stickers)
Word the habit you want to create into a yes/no scenario
Start on a week you are more likely to succeed
At the end of the day if you succeeded you get a sticker, if you didn’t you start over
Repeat step 4 until you have successfully completed 60 days in a row
And when this works for you, pay it forward - tell your friends and family about this tracker.
