Why I am obsessed with sleep
I bloody love sleep. Not necessarily the act of sleep, because when I overthink what sleep is, I find it a very vulnerable position to put myself in.
If I have to share a bed with a friend, I’ll cling to the edge, praying I don’t snore or bear hug them in the night. Invariably I will, which my friends love to fill me in on the following morning.
It is not the act of sleep, but the result of sleep that I love. The result of good sleep. The result of consistent good sleep.
Before my own Elita La Vie journey, while I have never suffered from insomnia, I was constantly tired.
My Mum was forever telling me I was burning the candle at both ends. I didn’t listen as there was so much I needed to squeeze into my day and she couldn’t possibly understand as she was retired. But, as Mums often are, she was right.
I used to have a long hideous commute, a job I was frequently bored in, which when I was already tired from a long commute, did nothing to keep me awake. I would take 10 minute power naps in the toilets just to get through the afternoons. At the end of the day, I’d do the hideous commute in reverse, to get home to my husband who has many talents, but noticing there is washing up to be done is not one of them. The evening routine of cooking, cleaning, life admin etc fell to me and somehow I also squeezed in frequent gym classes.
What this looks like in relation to sleep is a 5.30am alarm Monday to Friday and a bedtime around 11pm with very little space for fun.
Some of you are thinking 6.5 hours sleep, that’s plenty, lucky you! I’ve been surviving on that for years. It isn’t enough for me. If I sleep naturally, I will have between 7-8 hours of sleep, sometimes even up to 9 hours.
Those daily 6.5 hours over a few years really took its toll on me. The problem was I couldn’t see it. I started to get used to the feeling, it became my normal. Tired was my default setting.
The next problem I faced was the amount I wanted to achieve each day, but never seemed to have time for. Something I am sure many of us can relate to. I didn’t blame this on how tired I was, but on myself for not being good enough, capable enough, organised enough or smart enough.
The life I longed for felt further and further away each day.
On my commute, I became an avid podcast listener. This is where I first heard Matt Walker being interviewed about his then new book ‘Why we sleep’. It was a lightbulb moment for me, suddenly all my rest instincts I’d been ignoring had a voice and I was listening.
Ironically, I didn’t get an early night straight away, I started to listen to more podcasts about sleep. I became really interested in the science of sleep and the importance of it, but it took me a few months before I put it into practice.
I am a great sleeper and feel very lucky to only suffer 1-2 nights a year where I’ll struggle to get to sleep. Even in times of extreme stress, I’ll get 7-8 hours of sleep relatively easily. Falling asleep was not the issue for me, it was being ok with leaving the endless to do list incomplete and going to bed at a sensible time that got me all jittery.
But I did, I forced myself to make a new habit of having a 9pm (10pm latest) bedtime.
Did I notice a difference? Of course I did!! I was like a new person.
I didn’t need to eat as much during the day, I was hungry less and wasn’t looking for the sugary fix to get through the afternoons.
I had energy and I wanted to use it. I had forgotten this feeling. I’d spent years dragging myself through life and now I wanted to skip through it.
I was a much nicer person to be around. I felt happier and less annoyed by people. I stopped blaming others or the universe for my inadequacies.
And ironically and the thing that got me going the most…I got more done! I was way more productive than I had been living life as a zombie.
Getting a good night's sleep changed my life and really it was the first actionable step I took towards getting what I want.
Topic 2 within The Elita La Vie Approach is called Sleep when you’re alive. You know why?
Because I believe sleep should come before everything else. If you’re not rested, you’re not ready.
Please prioritise sleep.
And if you grapple with sleep, I am sorry if reading this felt like a brag. I do know and appreciate how lucky I am to get consistent sleep.
Sleep well
Charlene Elita x
